Dating and Love

When it comes to dating, relax, pay attention and be yourself.
For years I wondered if there was some new way to go about dating; some secret approach that no one had discovered yet. But alas, the older I get, the less I'm inclined to believe in such secrets.

In my opinion, most people set the bar far too high when it comes to dating. C'mon, it's not that serious. It's supposed to be FUN!

  • Relax
    I can't over-emphasize this enough. Take a tip from the "younger" set and "just chill." Don't look at your date as the answer to all of your problems — your ills, shortcomings, things you didn't get as a child, things you did get and want to keep getting, or any other entitlements on your list. Rather, enjoy your date's company and look at the experience as a chance to make a new friend, or to be enlightened on a subject you knew little about before the date. Because at this stage of the game it means nothing, and therefore nothing should be read into the experience. Period.

  • Pay Attention...
    ...From the first date to whatever transpires over the next few months. Remember, even though you're still "chilling," if you've gotten past the first few dates, it's time to show the other person you are sincere about getting to know them. Let's stop right here and think about that phrase (go back and say it out loud if you need to)...OK, now ask yourself, did you really get to know the person during those first few dates, or were you concentrating on your needs again and what you want and expect? This is where many of us get into trouble — especially women.

    Avoid tunnel-vision: 1) how much money he makes, 2) what kind of car he drives, 3) how he dresses, and keep an open mind about his potential as a mate (if that's what you're looking for)based on what you've learned about him already.

    This openness can spare you from wasting time in dead-end relationships, because you'll find out all you need to know about the person simply by listening to him and observing his actions.I've heard so many horror stories from women and men who didn't pay attention and missed those all-important clues that told them it was time to move on. And believe me, you know what those clues are — that funny feeling in your gut that tells you something isn't quite right

  • Be Yourself
     I know you've heard this before, but if you still find yourself acting weird on a date, then you've not been heeding this warning. Keep in mind that the other person is nervous too; it's natural. Meeting a complete stranger (or if a friend introduced you, a once-removed-complete-stranger) can make anyone uncomfortable. By being relaxed and acting natural, you can help your date do the same.

Love and Dating - Understanding romance.

Your heart races every time he calls and your palms sweat whenever he's near. You think he may be "the one." But how do you know if this is the real thing?
Love has three stages: the infatuation stage, the bonding stage and the familiar stage. Dr. Neder, an ordained minister and doctor of metaphysics, says it helps to consider all three stages when determining if you have the real thing.
The infatuation stage is when you can't wait to be with the other person. This is the romantic stage of love,   when people thinks it's "the real thing." But this stage lasts only a short time.


The second stage, is the bonding stage. During this stage you get to know the other person and you start planning aspects of your life around them. If you continue through this stage you eventually enter the third stage, or what is called "the familiar phase."
In the familiar stage you've established a pattern that involves the other person. "Your lives become intertwined and merged, You know foundationally how the other person feels about almost everything. And interestingly, you also become refocused on your own life, direction and goals. This is where most professionals believe "real love" starts.

For further information please contact David Mintz by email or telephone. d.mintz@kcdating.co.uk or david@dating4grownups.co.uk .... 01728 635064 or 07986 213120